The Sexuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to very hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our Clicking Here sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and well-being .

But when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry website link North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in city areas, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. Lots of gay men desire to discover from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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