The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), websites which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and nearness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay males want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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