The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings tremendous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to go to website and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and nearness .

However when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urban locations, sex is easily available, why not look here and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make see page your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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