The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be great also).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and wellness .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North adds, "I believe this is browse around this web-site a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.

When web link the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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