The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, making love carries enormous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good also).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes my site the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to incredibly hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , leading to effective here are the findings feelings of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that much of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. Many gay males wish to learn from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar